Leicester Marathon 15 Oct 2017 Race Report (Of Sorts)

04:32:28

Finished well under the 6 hr cut off that I dreaded and well under my 5:15 practice time. Was a tiny bit disappointed not to do sub 4:30 as the delayed start made me hope the chip time would come in just under. However the mitigating factors are I was running injured from the start and I managed to raise £800+ for Dan Beasley of Cleft. 

Race Report

Up at 6am for 3 bacon and 3 scrambled eggs, and greasing, taping, and sun-creaming various parts of my anatomy. Filled up my hydration pack and headed out. 

Tram. Coffee. Train. Last minute study of course map. Walk to park. Register. 

Weather looks more overcast than was forecast so I decided to go with the 'non-technical' Cleft shirt hoping I don't overheat. 

Drop bag, Take photo. Reset (analogue, non-garmin, non-stop-) watch. Go to back of starting line

Talk to Taz from Telford. He has one marathon under his belt (The Liverpool Rock and Roll Marathon). Recommended. 

Reset watch again. WE'RE OFF!!

I'm in pain straight away as I knew I would be. Part one of the plan is to take it really slow and not even worry about checking the splits written on a sheet in my pocket. I can't anyway because many of the mile markers are missing. Some are spray painted on the road (I figure out after about 8 miles, but even those are patchy). 

I have 3 sets of times good (9 mins), average (11 mins), and just-fast-enough-to-beat-the-6-hour-cut-off (13 mins). When I get to the 6 mile mark the marathon and half split up and I find I'm a little over 9 min pace, so as per the plan I set out to seriously run the next 12. If I can get through those in a decent time and uninjured, or at least not-more-injured, I can probably finish no matter what state I'm in. 

Yep. That's M'Plan.

There's no headphones allowed so I try to change up my mental approach each mile to stop me going nuts, or zoning out to a crawl. A popular mental mantra is "it's not pain, it's just discomfort". Which helps. So does the advice I picked up from a running podcast, which was smile and thank every well wisher and marshall. So I do. (here's me attempting to smile and thank the photographer)

This causes problems at the aid stations. "Water" they shout and hold up cups of water. "Gels" they shout, holding up gels. "High five" they shout - so I go to high five these lovely people. Not noticing the cups of hi5 energy drink in their hands. It gets me every time. Thankfully I managed, at the last moment, to stop myself smashing the drinks out of their hands. That wouldn't look good.

Wait! So the energy drinks aren't in bottles? There was no point wearing this bottle belt then. Grrr. 

Mile 13 - Low point - peeing in some bushes and getting nettled all over my legs. High point I didn't have to stop at either of the 2 train crossings. Contrary to other race reports, there were no timing mats, so any delay would have been added to my overall time. 

Mile 16 - ran for a while with a lady who'd done 2 marathons including the Milton Keynes marathon. Recommend. Took my mind off the pain discomfort for a while, which was nice, but she was too fast for me and I had to let her go.

Next up - burning stomach pain. Really worried I was doing something terrible to my stomach muscles, but them realised it was the race belt buckle rubbing against my bare skin. Moved it. Pain gone. Nipple plasters also gone. Hope I don't bleed all over Dan's nice yellow shirt.

Mile 18 - I've done the serious bit and I'm still between 9 and 11 min miles. I just might finish this thing...

Mile 21 - Now I know I can finish - even if I have to walk the rest. Took my phone out and rang my family to give them an ETA. Took out my pack of dried fruit and nuts. Threw them away. Dried fruit! What was I thinking? Took out a square of Bournville chocolate instead. I had lots of sugar bribes carbohydrate motivations planned for certain miles but didn't get to most of them. Too many gels - even though I had less than one per hour. Gels suck. I hate gels. 

Mile 23 - I might possibly finish without further injury.  We're heading back into the city. There is a little path taped off for the runners right through the city centre, but 4 hours in, the shoppers have taken over and bemused looks are the best you can expect. I'm way behind the runner in front and no one is close to catching me. So to Mrs Sunday Shopper I'm just a weird sweaty guy running through a shopping centre. In this respect running the Leicester Marathon is a bit like fighting in Vietnam. Everyone is quite enthusiastic to see you heading out, but the reception is a lot colder on your return.

Mile 24 - trying to run faster.

Mile 25 - Slowing down again. You know. Just to change it up. At some point round here I find I'm completely unable to run down the under pass. As in, my legs just don't work in that direction. I can run on flat and uphill but not down. It's like my quad muscles have just been replaced by wooden planks.

Mile 26 - running faster again. It hurts so much anyway, and going slower is not giving me any relief.  There are loads of people doing a walk - sprint thing, so I'm constantly overtaking and being overtaken by the same people. I have no idea if I'm gaining anything by my steady plodding. I'm getting righteously angry at this stupid race and just want it to be over. This is making me run a bit faster. 

Last 0.2 miles. The final uphill isn't bad despite what the race reports say. It's just final and that makes it bad if you're not expecting it. So glad I ran this last bit when I came here to do the 10k. Now I'm just annoyed cos some seems to have added an extra 100 years [Freudian slip] yards that I don't remember.  

Pass a guy stretching his crampy calves. C'mon dude - nearly there! Coming back into Victoria Park, I see my family cheering me just before the finish line. I'm able to finish strong with a smile on my face as the announcer stumbles over my number and gives up on trying to find my name. 

Post race. 

Quads on fire. Can't eat or drink. Need loo. Can sit down. Cannot get back up. 

10 mins later. Legs and feet feel OK. Head for train. Long wait at station. Coffee, crisps, energy bar, cold pizza, water. OMG!!! What's that on my big toe! 

When I say it didn't hurt, I mean the pain was masked by all the other pain in my body.

Train. Reading The Life Changing Magic Of Tidying Up. BK Value Meal and McD's chocolate shake to go.

Home. Pop blisters. Cold shower. Cold bath. Straight out to a friend's gig. I can't walk!

Home. Ready Meal Curry. Red wine. Deadpool. Bed-pool.

My First Marathon.